martes, 9 de diciembre de 2014

Mysterious Ways

Thursday night. Somewhere between 2:00am and 3:00am. I was having a beer alone in a little bar in Adrogue. I was alone because I needed some time to be with myself. It's somehow funny when people passing by just look at you, sitting alone with one glass on the table, thinking that I'm not ok because I'm having a beer alone. The energy on their looks, most of them pity looks, made me think of the desperate need of people to be-with-someone, no matter what, and that thought disturbed me a lot.
There was a couple two tables away from mine, they were not ok judging by their faces and gestures. They look exhausted, he has his elbows on the table, one hand holding his head and the other one anxiously moving an empty glass, she has her fingers clasped on her thighs, and couldn't help looking away every time his words upset her. It seems like he is giving reasons, explaining himself, and she was trying to understand, but the cliché of the situation made me think it was pointless for them to be doing that, there was no back to the start. The strange part was that they treated each other with so much care, they knew maybe it was over, but it just impressed me the way they honestly tried to figure things out, avoiding unnecessary impulses. The ending of a real relationship seems like a paradox, because I could see there was definitely sympathy, they cared, so the inability to work it out made me feel a little hopeless (perhaps that ending was the perfect "work it out" but the idea of eternal love is the one we are supposed to believe in, hope is powerful, but it can also blind you). I wanted to listen what they said, The place was almost empty but the music was too loud for me to hear them.
My supposition of the ending made me more curious about them, it was almost inevitable to think about the "split movie-like screen", where in the first one they stay together, and I could witness the calm before the passion, watch them kiss, smile, hold hands or desperately grab each other before having sex in the car in some lonely alley because they just can't wait to go to his or her house. The other scenario where they end things, and I get to see that last goodbye, follow them separately,  know their thoughts, watching them cry or walk around with no particular direction, taking the long way home, closing the door of the bedroom, the eternal time before they finally fall asleep and the lack of appetite the next morning while they do nothing but recreate the night before.
At one point they get lost in another couple that was outside, they were silently smoking, looking at the trees. They copy their silence for a while, looking at each other thinking what to say next, I finish my glass and go outside for a smoke (the smoking couple had already left so I had no chance to see what was happening there). When I went back in, he was asking for the check, I was confused because It didn't look like their conversation would end that soon, I had the feeling I missed a crucial part of the talk, so I felt bad. They stared at each other for about a minute, and then as she reaches her hand to his, his nose starts bleeding. She startles, he doesn't understand at first, so she calmly runs her thumb over his upper lip and shows him, he takes a napkin, she tells him to look up, he makes a joke, she smiles and guides him to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

I stayed for about 10 more minutes, I didn't see them leaving.

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